The moment I lay my foot on the British soil, what was in my heart was great hope of a whole new family of friendships and love. Dreams of meeting another bunch of great buddies and jimuis, maybe not perfectly replace the academical siblings whom I share my laughter and sadness with, but a glimmer of hope for at least some who can be nearly as good. After months here, that sparkle was still not found.

I always love to see ppl around me enjoy and stay happy. This is the source of my life. I enjoy other's happiness. This is why I don't mind making myself a fool and spitting out lame jokes which occasionally will have someone to appreciate it in PM6. At least someone laughs with me. Thats my joy.

Here ppl dont laugh with me, but laugh at me. Cracking jokes even with my fellow countrymen will only earn me belittling eyesights and bombardments of the word: LAME. No one shares my laughter, so needless to say there is ppl to be there and care for me here. Sometimes they do, if only they find that there is something they can gain from you, but if you are not proven worthy enough, praise turns to jeers, appreciation turns to disparagement. Occasionally there are exceptions, and i appreciates that, but the feeling of emptiness is still corroding my heart.

I miss my family, u guys and your laughters.